Listen to me!!!!

9 Sep

Sigh. It’s been a long day. Fridays I have baby and toddler at home which, yes, would be absolutely lovely were it not for the fact that my daughter is missing a crucial part of her body at the moment. Her ears. Her ears look like they’re there, trouble is they don’t seem to be functioning. Like other things that appear initially to be useful – the appendix, top ‘n’ tail bowls, the Queen – they are in fact useless. And therein begins the frustration. I can start the day as the calmest, most patient übermother but after repeating the same question a hundred times I become a raging bull or a despondent kipper (depending on my energy levels).

“Er, excuse me young lady! Where are your listening ears? Haven’t you got your listening ears on today? Look at me and listen!”

It’s not that she isn’t taking in the sound of my voice and registering it somewhere in the pink whirl of Peppa Pig and soft toys that is her brain. But she simply isn’t listening. This can be easily tested by mentioning any of the following keywords: chocolate, television, iPad, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. A mention of these will snap her eyes back to me and suddenly I become the centre of her world as opposed to an irritating background whirr of mummy drivel intent on spoiling her fun. Or else she throws my own words back at me and I realise – with a begrudging pride – that she does sometimes listen to me. After being asked several times for chocolate buttons whilst trying to locate my keys I was hit with: “Mummy, you haven’t got your listening ears on!”. Touché.

She’s a clever little madam. She’s figured out that she can stall my persistence by throwing me a curve ball:

Me: Can you please come back to the table and eat your dinner.

Me: Can you please come back to the table and eat your dinner.

Her: This is daddy, this is mummy and this is Rhino.

Me: Rhino? You’ve called your doll Rhino?

Bah! The bombardment with authority has been interrupted and disarmed. And so I start all over again, the proverbial broken record increasing in volume and achieving nothing but making her more serene and intent on her own purpose. And more frustrating. She can’t be like this at nursery can she? She’d have been thrown out by now. (I’ve told her that she won’t learn anything if she doesn’t listen but the little minx claims that she can “learn by herself”.) So why me? I can only conclude that I’m a limp lettuce of a mother with about as much clout as a rain soaked pitta.

Yes, this is a plea for help! My throat is sore and I’m sick of the sound of my own voice. I’m not afraid to stand up and say “I’m a mother and my child doesn’t listen to me”. Hello? Are you even listening?

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2 Responses to “Listen to me!!!!”

  1. Clare September 9, 2011 at 11:24 pm #

    This could have been me today too – I always think Fridays are the worst because you and they are counting down the minutes until daddy gets hone and the weekend is here.

    • Crumbs & Pegs September 10, 2011 at 7:20 am #

      I’m pretty sure by the afternoon she’s bored of me and wishing she was at nursery!

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